Rio Rancor Public Schools: Doin’ the Inquisition Boogie

December 15, 2014

Voices, Politics / Current Events

I’ve always thought, and I’m sure you’ll agree, that the Inquisition marks a highpoint in human history. When incidents such as what happened recently at V. Sue Cleveland High (see last week’s post) or public figures like V. Sue Cleveland herself, the Grand Superintendent of the Rio Rancor educational fiefdom who actually has a high school named for her, when this stuff burns itself into my frail synapses, I am reminded of the good old days when we used to roast disagreeable folks, or drown them and hope and pray they would confess to being minions of Satan.  I think warmly then, fondly of the rack, or the heretic’s fork, and tears course down my cheeks, and I blubber silently, secretly to myself. After all, I am a man, you know, and we bros always hide our weeping.

Last week I reported in my own gonzoless fashion about teacher Katrina Guarascio and her resignation from the Rio Rancor schools. I did not know that she had been placed on administrative leave prior to her leaving for perhaps, maybe, possibly:

  1. Having a student’s parents complain about ungodly activities in her creative writing class, or was it…
  2. Allowing, condoning, and promoting dangerous peer review, or was it…
  3. F’ing swearing and f’’ing sexual references in her f’ing classroom, or was it…
  4. I forget what the fourth, sixth, and eighth thing were?  But Guarascio did it, and she was guilty just as everyone in the Inquisition was guilty.

Now that the memory cells are tingling in a kind of Inquisitional boogie, I recall that this is not the first time Rio Rancor schools in general or V. Sue Cleveland High in specific have come to public attention.

Remember December of last year, just about this time in fact, when a teacher at good old Cleveland High ran into Christopher Rougier, an African American ninth grader dressed up as Santa?

“Christopher,” the teacher reportedly said, “Don’t you know Santa Claus is white?” Bah dah boom. How stupid of Christopher not to have noticed.

See, that’s the classroom I want my kid to study in, yesiree, a hostile place where we know in advance who succeeds and who drops away, because that’s the goal of Inquisition Education, get as many kids to drop out as possible, not the white ones, silly.

Anyway, that was certainly a great educator who had such a snappy response to that black kid, wasn’t it? After the usual liberal namby pambies complained, that teacher was reluctantly, sadly, unfortunately also placed on administrative leave too just for having a sense of humor, jeez.

I think these two instances of administrative sanction show just what kind of great education they’ve got going for themselves up there in the right little, tight little Inquisition kingdom above the rio.

These two instances demonstrate to my way of thinking a perfect and beautifully illustrated case for doing things the Inquisition way in fulfilling our most precious charge, to put young people in their place, which is usually a stinking hole somewhere underneath a bridge where neither V. Sue nor I can see them. That’s the kind of world I want to live in, uh huh.




This piece was written by:

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James Burbank

James Burbank has written and published over 200 articles for regional and national publications such as Reuters International News Service, The World & I Magazine, National Catholic Reporter, Farmer’s Almanac, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, La Opinion, New Mexico Magazine, Albuquerque Journal, Albuquerque Tribune. He is author of Retirement New Mexico, the best selling book published by New Mexico Magazine Press, now in its third edition. He is also author of Vanishing Lobo: the Mexican Wolf in the Southwest, published by Johnson Books.

As a professional writing consultant, he has written and edited publications, video and radio scripts, annual reports, and investment information for a wide variety of corporate clients. A Lecturer II for the Department of English, Burbank has specialized in teaching technical writing and professional writing. His interests extend from composition and writing theory to environmental and nature writing. He has played a leadership role in developing and implementing the English Department’s teaching mentorship program.


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