New Mexico Mercury

As anybody who is anybody will tell you, last week Davey and Chuckie Koch had a warm get together at the Tamaya Resort with, “some of America’s greatest philanthropists and most successful business leaders to discuss solutions to out most pressing issues…”

In fact, Dave and Chuck needed a bit of privacy, so they could think about their great ethics in peace. The bros just rented the whole damn place and surrounded the idylllic resort with armed guards and dogs on chains foaming at the mouth to keep you and me from sniffing around and sharing some of the same air as the very special people were breathing out there in the magic desert Tamayaland.

The great Koch brothers are just crazy about Ayn Rand.  Last July, Dave and Chuck bought Ayn Rand’s corpse from her family for $487 million. The Kochs want to clone Ayn, and they are apparently conducting some pretty weird experiments to bring Ayn Rand back to life.  It’s Ayn Rand who has given them and their Tamaya buddies Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor the vision of what philanthropy really means, a solid and absolutely consistent philosophical view of life’s plaguey little problems.

Ayn Rand, if truth be known, hated philanthropy or any act of altruism in service of the “naked, twisted, mindless figure of human incompetence,” we parasites who feed off brilliant, productive people like Paul and Eric, or Chuck and Dave.

Paul and Eric are the guys who believe we absolutely, positively must slash the budget to the bone, especially the “entitlement” programs that reflect Ayn Rand’s nightmare scenario of overweaning government - helping us parasites through coercive means to force compliance from the productive superpeople like the Kochs who think the rest of humanity is, in Rand’s words, “mud to be ground, fuel to be burned.”

Ayn Rand is the only human in history ever to live without any contradiction.  She believed that if you are facing a contradiction, then you have to check your premises because one is wrong. The Eternal Rand hath said, “There are two sides to every issue: one side is right, and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil,” so I guess there’s no compromise here.

Despite The Everlasting Rand’s total aversion to government, it was fine for her to collect Social Security. There’s no contradiction at all in that, just as it was fine for The Cantor to collect Social Security benefits when his father died, and it’s also fine for both The Ryan and The Cantor to claim fat government salaries, health benefits, retirement, benefits. There’s no contradiction there, nosiree, because their self-importance cancels out any apparent contradiction that might exist in saying one thing but doing another simply to benefit yourself.

It’s just not all right for you, me, or any other parasite to have government benefits. These happy-go-lucky guys will both soon be once again relentlessly destroying Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, student loans, Obamacare, the highway and transportation budget, education, the latrines in public park program etc, Remember, they say, you must make sacrifices because of the budget deficit. These wise and prudent men have listened very carefully to the Eternal Rand’s words of sagacity: “The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master.” Perhaps we parasites should listen to what these wunderhumans believe, so we can better prepare ourselves for the unspecified but totally fantastically great future that will result from these richly compelling ideas.

It’s also nice and comforting to cogitate about the delightful and charming individual whom Ayn Rand idolized as her super hero, William Hickman who kidnapped, raped, killed, and dismembered the 12-year-old girl, Marion Parkman. That’s Ayn Rand’s ideal who she emulates and praises and who provided her the model  for her paeons of praise to her stand-alone guy ubermenshen, John Galt and Howard Roark. Rand gushed that her super-dooper hero Hickman was, “the amazing picture of a man with no regard whatsoever for what society holds sacred…Other people do not exist for him.” He shines forth with “immense and explicit egotism.”

It seems wondrous indeed why few in the major media have ever piped up and asked these wealthy and powerful demigods about some of these admirable guiding principles employed by the Kochs, Ryan, Cantor et al. that so neatly cleave the haves and have nots into masters and slaves, humans and subhumans.  I would have loved to have been out at good ol’ Tamaya, the fly on the wall, asking the questions, and soaking up the wisdom and the humanity, but darn it, I wasn’t invited.