New Mexico Mercury

Welcome to another lesson in conservative economics. You will recall a few months ago we talked about how the Sequester would become the great centerpiece of our inspiring philosophy of smaller government and ever more money for good old us.

As in life, so it is in economics. You can’t change the established order. You can’t mess with the Nature of Things, which has been determined by God.

We would much rather cut social programs that are so darn wasteful and that support all the parasites we have to drag around as dead-weight meat.  With the Sequester we had to settle for an across-the-board whack.

So what!  A cut is a cut is a cut. Strangle spending, kill government and public schools, and shoot to privatize, so we can make an honest buck.

These laudable goals can be accomplished. We can be free, we can be strong, and we can wave our God-given guns around, but enough celebrating. We have work to do.

As gross as this may seem, the first thing on the agenda is to learn how to deal with our inferiors, especially those who work for government, the aforementioned cockroach freeloaders, public school teachers, liberal college professors and other riff raff and lice. We will be asking these weaklings to make some itty bitty sacrifices, so we have to pretend to respect them.

Already we have successes to report. Almost 2,100 civilians at Kirtland will get a twenty percent cut. Yay! It’s working.  Government is getting smaller. Maybe as many as 4,000 workers at military installations will face cuts. Yippee! It’s working. Government is getting weaker. Yet I feel empowered. I feel free. White Sands? Another near 2,500 federal sloths will feel the pinch. Woopie! Holloman Air Base—another 840 worker numbies may face cuts. And how about Cannon Air Base near Clovis? I can see government shrinking each and every minute. It’s working.

This is a deep demonstration of the power of conservative values, the brilliance of conservative economic sagacity.

Cut. Cut. Cut. Yaba daba dooo!

Not only are all these government slugs discovering the wisdom and beauty of conservative economics, we can take credit for all the businesses, all the stores, the little cafes, the subcontractors, the dry cleaner, the yarn purveyor--  all will be cut, cut, cut. Things will get smaller except for us. We will get bigger.

In our next lesson, we will talk about how we can realize the great truth—other people suck, but we don’t have to be dragged down by these unsuccessful experiments of nature, now do we?  See you next time.