If you are a Manny, you probably won’t like what I am about to say one damn bit because it’s the Mannys of this world that are spoiling it all for everyone else. In fact, it is the very name Manny that is the probable suspect cause for all misery in the Universe, to say nothing of good ol’ NM.
During 2012 in the United States, the name Manny ranked 2044 in popular baby names. Compared to Bill, say, which is wildly popular, the name Manny has experienced a plummeting decline that could be graphically compared to the collapse of the NYSE in 2008, and it’s no wonder why the name Manny is going to the dogs.
Let’s take Manny Aragon as a case in point. He’s just been sprung from the Florence, Colorado Federal jailhouse after serving four and a half years. Yay, and yippie, except that his name is Manny, so maybe we should not be so darn sanguine.
Here I will be doing a wee bit of tsk, tsking and shaking my wizened head back and forth because Manny done us wrong here in New Mexico.
Most certainly due to the fact his name was Manny, the former state senate leader broke bad by indulging in a little kickback scheme when the Albuquerque courthouse was built. A lot of people here wanted Manny to come clean, serve the public interest, and tell more about the the $4 million construction swindle, but he never did.
He never ratted on anyone when he was in prison. He knew he would soon be returning to his beloved cama de piedra, his bed of stone, located in his $7 million luxury stone castello in the South Valley. Manny commissioned that an inscription be wrought regarding his bed, “La Cama de Piedra, bro.” That means Manny will never, ever say one word about this or the manny, manny other imputed scandalous affairs Manny may or may not have engaged in during his years of absolute power in the state legislature.
During the time Manny, all because of his name, of course, was siphoning off beaucoup bucks in the courthouse deal, Bern County Assessor Karen-Manny Montoya was helping Manny Aragon zero out property taxes on his luxury South Valley palacio. This is the same Karen-Manny Montoya who was simultaneously jamming up the property tax rates 200-300% on retirement-age Bernalillo County property owners, driving them from their homes and bringing them financial ruin. See, it’s the Manny thing again. What did I tell you?
If only Karen-Manny had been named Nostradamus, or Tilden, or Muffy, but no, the name Manny has created certain moral lapses, certain memory lapses in our dear former county assessor. Being the Manny she is, she ran for and won a seat on the PRC where she continues to serve other Mannys who have status and influence hereabouts.
And now Manny Aragon while he holes up in his family ducha will help pay off his remaining debt to the people of New Mexico by using his state legislature pension given him by the people of New Mexico. Wow, there’s a Mannyish justice here.
Speaking of Bernalillo County—the place is fair nigh overbrimming with rampant overweaning Mannyisticism, and we have the example of Manny Ortiz to hold up as a shining paragon of mannyicism. What is it with all these guys named Manny?
Weird pay raises, state law violations, violations of investment policy—Bernco Treasurer’s office is headed by someone after all named Manny, and as we all know and can readily see from the astoundingly convincing evidence presented herewithin, presented, I must say, with florid conviction and passion, the name Manny predetermines, predestines, pre-ordains that the bearer of the name Manny will inevitably be morally inferior, a degenerate, a social plague, etc.,etc.
Now we have someone to blame, someone whose name is Manny. I’m so glad I know about Mannys. Somehow things seem simpler, cleaner, more transparent and breathlessly beautiful now.
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