New Mexico Mercury

Curator's note by Stevie Olson: This week we have an intriguing short story by Anna Jenkins. She uses Raymond Carver’s style in “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” to construct her own version. I love her attention to detail throughout the piece and her use of dialogue to pull the reader into lunch-table conversation. Her pieces gives the reader a peek at what teenage girls may talk about when they talk about love. Anna, thank you for sharing your piece with us, and good luck in your final year of high school.

Not Another Teen Romance

Mary was talking. She had the loudest voice out of the four of us, so she basically led all of our normal lunch-time conversations.

"So I was hanging out with Tommy the other day and he told me he loved me." A chorus of "ohhh's" came from the rest of us as we looked at Mary, waiting for her to finish her statement. "Yeah, I'm not really sure how I feel about that yet."

"Well did you say it back?" Valerie, the most experienced out of our group asked. The three of us, me--Kate, Valerie and Molly, sat crowded around a small, fold-up lunch table in our school's cafeteria, our eyes eagerly turned toward Mary as she contemplated an answer.

"Yes. But that's only because I think there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone," Mary answered.

"That's a good point, but does he know that?" Molly questioned. She was the tallest out of the four of us, with sunny blonde hair and a sweet dispositions that made her easily approachable.

"Well..." Mary's gaze wandered around the cafeteria, slowly examining each of the students at the surrounding tables before she sighed and finally answered. "Probably not... I mean--I didn't exactly explain that to him."

"So how do you feel about him then?" I finally asked. "I mean, you say that you're not in love with him, but you guys have been together for almost a year now, right?"

"Yeah, that's true. I dunno, I guess I do love him, but I just don't think that time really makes a difference in how much you love another person. You either do, or you don't. Simple. I love him, but I don't think I would want to spend my life with him, you know? He makes me happy and he makes me smile, but I know that we wouldn't ever be able to make big compromises for each other. Hell, we're in high school! Why should we be making big compromises for each other? There's so much more in my life that I still need to experience, and maybe its cliché, but I think that when I find the right person, I'll know."

"Awe, you mean like in the movies don't you?" Molly asked.

Mary nodded and a rosy crimson flooded her cheeks.

"That's so cute! I know what you're saying though..." Molly picked up her fork and toyed with it a bit, a look of admiration in her eyes. "I know you guys all think that I'm a hopeless romantic, but I really love old romance movies. I wish that relationships weren't just all about sex or about popularity. I wish people loved each other like in Romeo and Juliet. They would rather die than be without one another... Well, okay bad example because Romeo and Juliet is such an unrealistic love story, but you know what I mean. Love is about passion and trust, and now it's just about who's fucking who. That's not love, and if it is then I don't ever want to 'fall in love.'"

"That's true I guess." Valerie agreed. "Come to think of it, I'm sure that most high school 'relationships' really do revolve around sex... I understand that sex is great and all, but you can have sex with anyone, yourself, with batteries. Cows have sex for fuck's sake! Anywhere, at anytime. It's so easy. If you're in love with someone, then sex should be about romance, not who's climaxing first. I think that it's a sacred thing--it's like letting that person unwrap you and see all of your insecurities and it's showing that person the most vulnerable and hidden part of you. I just wish there was more romance to it... When two people are dancing they fit together perfectly, or when you're walking next to someone, and you don't know how, but all of a sudden you're holding hands. I want someone to take my breath away when I see them across a room. I just want romance."

The three of us stared across the table at Valerie, shocked into silence by her valid points until the ringing of the bell snapped each of us out of our thoughts as it signaled the end of lunch.

"Hey, well I had better go, I've got a big Spanish test this period and I need to get there early. I'll see you guys later!" I gathered my backpack and jacket and started off across the campus as I heard them each shout a distracted "goodbye."

As I walked over the crunching burnt orange and maroon leaves I thought about the conversation that we had just had and chuckled to myself as I realize that even though we all acted like we knew what we were talking about, we were only teenage girls. We had only really lived a fraction of our lives and probably knew very little about what love really is, but that's the whole point of living--it's about learning and growing as a human being, and you have to start somewhere, right?

(Photo by corrto)