Semolina

April 20, 2015

By James Burbank

Semolina is a nearly 14,000 acre new proposed community in Southwest Bernco named for coarse, purified wheat middlings, a very romantic association, if I do say so.

If approved by the Bernco Commission, Semolina could maybe possibly potentially bring in 38,000 imaginary residents for 75,000 existentially deficient invisible jobs. Good deal and just in time. These ghosts will bring their own water from wherever, so not to worry. The water thing is just a Trojan horse anyway, or a horse of another color, so back up your hard drive and get over it.

I know you converted the lawn to sand, sand you can use to take a “dry shower,” I might add, and I know the dog water bowl has been bone dry for three weeks now, but it doesn’t matter because Ol’ Blue flew off in one of those recent little windy spells. Just try to focus on the possibilities. The water will be on from 6 am to 8 am today, so plan to prepare your green plastic water glass, click your heels together, and whisper, “There’s no place like Bernalillo County.”

Remember Bernco of the 52 gazillion dollar deficit? Think of all those capable of being but not yet in existence taxpayers. The Bernco Commission will surely be fixated on all these vaporous yet exceptionally prosperous millennials who will be easy as pie to attract to living out there on the sand. That certainly does appeal to Bernco just as much as it appeals to me.

(Original photo by OakleyOriginals / CC)

This piece was written by:

James Burbank

James Burbank has written and published over 200 articles for regional and national publications such as Reuters International News Service, The World & I Magazine, National Catholic Reporter, Farmer’s Almanac, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, La Opinion, New Mexico Magazine, Albuquerque Journal, Albuquerque Tribune. He is author of Retirement New Mexico, the best selling book published by New Mexico Magazine Press, now in its third edition. He is also author of Vanishing Lobo: the Mexican Wolf in the Southwest, published by Johnson Books.

As a professional writing consultant, he has written and edited publications, video and radio scripts, annual reports, and investment information for a wide variety of corporate clients. A Lecturer II for the Department of English, Burbank has specialized in teaching technical writing and professional writing. His interests extend from composition and writing theory to environmental and nature writing. He has played a leadership role in developing and implementing the English Department’s teaching mentorship program.