Latest Alford deal

April 18, 2013

By James Burbank

Steve Alford is getting sick and tired of the little million dollar petty grievance that the University of New Mexico holds against our former wonderful basketball coach for leaving UNM in the lurch, so last night Alford said he’s just going to buy UNM. That should put a halt to University’s futzing around with his lordship.

According to Alford, the new UNM will be called New Mexico B-ball University (NMBBU), and along with the new name there will be a spanking-new mission for New Mexico’s flagship of higher learning and new student fees totaling in the billions all to be going to UNM B-ball. All the disciplines will now be focused on basketball as well: There will be a B-ball Physics Dept., B-ball Anthropology, B-ball Sociology , B-ball Linguistics, and of course the Anderson School of B-ball Business.

“I love University of New Mexico,” said Alford, tears streaming down his ruddy cheeks. “I just care so much, I want to own the place and have the right to fire a certain University interim attorney, and then I will feel much better, thank you very much.”

This piece was written by:

James Burbank

James Burbank has written and published over 200 articles for regional and national publications such as Reuters International News Service, The World & I Magazine, National Catholic Reporter, Farmer’s Almanac, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, La Opinion, New Mexico Magazine, Albuquerque Journal, Albuquerque Tribune. He is author of Retirement New Mexico, the best selling book published by New Mexico Magazine Press, now in its third edition. He is also author of Vanishing Lobo: the Mexican Wolf in the Southwest, published by Johnson Books.

As a professional writing consultant, he has written and edited publications, video and radio scripts, annual reports, and investment information for a wide variety of corporate clients. A Lecturer II for the Department of English, Burbank has specialized in teaching technical writing and professional writing. His interests extend from composition and writing theory to environmental and nature writing. He has played a leadership role in developing and implementing the English Department’s teaching mentorship program.