A kerfuffalo revisited

July 07, 2013

By James Burbank

Thank you to all my many kind readers who have sent extravagant gifts and money orders to my secret offshore post office box in the wan hopes that I not write about you, which brings up UNM Psych. Prof Geoff Miller who posted the immortal tweet, “Dear obese PhD. (sic) applicant…”

Remember him? He was conducting research, when he twitterooed that fat slobs need not apply. The University was disturbed because Geoff was not following procedures and getting the appropriate prior approvals for his research.

Turns out the tweet was not the giant kerfuffalo I feared, but another minor academic tremor. The Professor finally did submit his research tweet to the UNM Grand Research Investigation Vetting Committee (GRIVC) for approval, and here’s what the committee determined—“(Geoff’s)…tweeting activities did not rise to the level of research…” and therefore didn’t need to be approved in the first place!

I can finally relax. I should hope in future that tenured Professor Miller will include not only obese people in his research, but the ditch lizard population in Albuquerque’s North Valley.

I suggest that as a means of losing weight, the human subjects, as defined by federal regulation, could count and tail tag our lizard friends. At the end of the project there will be a Gatorade and cookies party. I admit this is not quite as interesting as some prior Psych research microchipping lapdance bar patrons to record their tipping hormone response levels, but my suggested project is eminently more practical and it will be approved by the Grand Committee!

This piece was written by:

James Burbank

James Burbank has written and published over 200 articles for regional and national publications such as Reuters International News Service, The World & I Magazine, National Catholic Reporter, Farmer’s Almanac, Los Angeles Herald Examiner, La Opinion, New Mexico Magazine, Albuquerque Journal, Albuquerque Tribune. He is author of Retirement New Mexico, the best selling book published by New Mexico Magazine Press, now in its third edition. He is also author of Vanishing Lobo: the Mexican Wolf in the Southwest, published by Johnson Books.

As a professional writing consultant, he has written and edited publications, video and radio scripts, annual reports, and investment information for a wide variety of corporate clients. A Lecturer II for the Department of English, Burbank has specialized in teaching technical writing and professional writing. His interests extend from composition and writing theory to environmental and nature writing. He has played a leadership role in developing and implementing the English Department’s teaching mentorship program.